Three6ix5ive's Blog
Three-hundred sixty-five days. One at a time.Archive for Race
Day 167: Oh… You Sounded White on the Phone
So several times a week something very similar to the following conversation occurs:
Outreach member: Hi I’m looking for Gloria.
Me:Yes. How can I help you?
OM: Oh no, Is Gloria in her office?
Me: Yes, I’m Gloria. How can I help you?
OM: You? Really?
Me: Yes, did you need something?
OM: Oh wow! You just sounded white on the phone.
WTF?! It happens at work. It’s happened at school. It pretty much happens anytime someone meets my work, or my voice, or my resume before they meet me. Translation: I didn’t expect anyone black to be accomplished/composed/able to relate to me/outta prison…etc..etc.
Yes, there are those innocent little moments where we recognize simple misjudgments, but there’s no excuse the second or third or seventeenth time. It’s not okay. It’s not a compliment to tell someone how well they’ve done for a black woman. It’s not okay to create these invisible barriers so that when one reaches some mediocre level of success we can praise them for being “good enough”.
I never had this idea in my head as a child. I didn’t grow up thinking I wanted to do well enough “for a black woman”. I’m glad that this invisible barrier wasn’t discovered until I’d grown a little older and more set in my ways. I can’t shrink back down to the expectations the world has for me now.
“Your playing small
Does not serve the world.
There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking
So that other people won’t feel insecure around you.”
Marianne Willamson A Return to Love
2/5/10
