Three6ix5ive's Blog
Three-hundred sixty-five days. One at a time.Archive for Musings
Day 124: Baby talk
19.12.2009 at 23:59 · Filed under Uncategorized and tagged: Aging, Lists, Musings
So, I’ve been taking care of an infant for a while now. And besides making me redefine my idea of “clean” and depriving me of sleep, it’s made me think a little bit about the things you can do as a baby that you really don’t appreciate. Once you realize what a sweet deal you’ve got, boom! it’s over. So feast on the inner workings of my most sage thoughts.
Things you can only do before your 3rd birthday:
- wake up and just yell until someone tends to your needs
- eat and poop at the same time
- put your foot in your mouth… and elicit ooohs and aaahh and awwws
- not wear any pants
- sleep 13 hours a day
Things you cannot do before your 80th birthday:
- wake up and just yell until someone tends to your needs
- eat and poop at the same time
- put your foot in your mouth… and offer absolutely no apology
- shoplift (bc who’s gonna arrest their grandma??)
- sleep 13 hours a day
Things you should do before your 40th birthday:
- keep a journal
- live with roommates
- go to an all-day, outdoor concert (SXSW, Lollapalooza, Warped Tour etc..)
- use your student discount
- learn how your money works
Things you should never do again after your 30th birthday:
- say you “like like” someone
- pretend to be a student to get discounts
- agonize about what your parents would think if…
- Laundry at mom’s (regularly that is. I mean if you’re visiting it’s just downright thrifty of you. Hurrah!)
- Eat poorly/not eat your vegetables!!
Things you are never too old to do:
- learn a new language
- start flossing
- complain about those right-wing nut-jobs/left-wing idiots
- fight city hall
- fall in love (awwww yes yes I know. I just threw up in my mouth a little too… but seriously…)
Things you are never too young to do:
- like art
- take care of your body/eat your vegetables
- fight city hall
- root for the Fighting Irish!
- forget where you put your keys
And there you have it… those are my lists I guess. With that said, I want to leave a sentiment that I have shared with several:
No matter what happens throughout the story of my life I hope I am “never too dignified to climb a tree or too mature to crash on a friend’s couch or too sophisticated to lay in the grass or too cool to speak in a made-up language”
The End.
